How is it that everything in my life should be so simple, and yet its so complicated? I really think that Josh and I need to take time apart, but everytime I want to bring it up I get to nervous because I feel like he won’t come back. Grandma is in the hospital because they found a poison in her blood yet for some reason can’t tell us what the poison is. In january she had to have a colonoscapy or however you spell it and a blood transfusion ( where they think the poison came from ) and she was suppose to be schedualed for a reversal next week but yesterday the nurse came and drew blood from a port of I.V’s they left in. and it was thick. And today when the cultures came back in they said she needed to imidiatly admitt herself into the E.R. I was flushing the port each day and administering the medicene through there as well. somehow I feel like this is my fault even though I know it couldn’t be. Anyways that and the stress of Bently who has been very cranky latley because of teething is causing alot of strain on Mine and Joshs relationship. I don’t know what to do anymnore and on top of all that when taxes came in for me and Josh my grandpa MADE us give him 1400 and said he would graduly give it back to us to help us save it but now after buying the car we are out of money and grandpa is saying that its his money now. and with niether of us having jobs I feel like im failing as a mother, and as a wife. I just feel overwhelmed and It has brought back a lot of bad habits.